This scene is kinda long but it's just too dang funny not to share!
***
Elvira was in the kitchen creating what she declared were "boards" except she was creating them on Hawk's big, square, midnight blue plates. She was doing this because she came into the warehouse laden with bags from Crate and Barrel and Fresh and Wild, places, she informed me, she took off work early so she could pay a visit. These bags contained brand-new martini glasses (a set of four, long stemmed, ultra sleek), a martini shaker, a mammoth wedge of brie, a French baton, grapes, applies, assorted olives, gherkins, red onion marmalade, assorted crackers, assorted chocolates and an enormous chunk of pate.
Oh, and she brought the ingredients for cosmopolitans.
She had me at the martini glasses. The rest of it made me declare my undying love for her and I told her she'd officially been accepted into my girl posse.
...
"Well, I see good things but I always saw good things," Tracy declared, hitching her ass up on a stool and learning forward to grab an olive off Elvira's board.
The bread knife Elvira was using clattered to the counter and Tracy bought her hand a quick, sharp slap.
"I'm not done," Elvira declared when Tracy snatched her hand back and held it with her other one, staring at Elvira in shock. "It's about presentation. Don't mess with my presentation."
...
"Hurry, Elvira, if you don't, I'm breaking out the cookie dough," I told her.
"Cookie dough is for heartbreak and sister trouble, why would you break out the cookie dough?" Tracy asked.
"Cookie dough has many functions. It isn't just for heartbreak and sister trouble. It's also for when you're freaking out about your love life," I replied.
"I'll tell you this," Elvira announced, fanning out little slices of French baton on the plate next to fanned-out little slices of apple all surrounding a gleaming, clean bunch of succulent grapes in the middle, "Hawk put me on radar, watched my every move for a year and a half and activated the troops when I caught trouble, there'd be no cookie dough in sight. I'd be on my knees next to the bed prayin' to the good Lord, thankin' him 'cause he heard my words. Then I'd put on my little teddy, the purple one, looks good against my skin, and I'd get in bed and count down the minutes until he got home."
***
Elvira was in the kitchen creating what she declared were "boards" except she was creating them on Hawk's big, square, midnight blue plates. She was doing this because she came into the warehouse laden with bags from Crate and Barrel and Fresh and Wild, places, she informed me, she took off work early so she could pay a visit. These bags contained brand-new martini glasses (a set of four, long stemmed, ultra sleek), a martini shaker, a mammoth wedge of brie, a French baton, grapes, applies, assorted olives, gherkins, red onion marmalade, assorted crackers, assorted chocolates and an enormous chunk of pate.
Oh, and she brought the ingredients for cosmopolitans.
She had me at the martini glasses. The rest of it made me declare my undying love for her and I told her she'd officially been accepted into my girl posse.
...
"Well, I see good things but I always saw good things," Tracy declared, hitching her ass up on a stool and learning forward to grab an olive off Elvira's board.
The bread knife Elvira was using clattered to the counter and Tracy bought her hand a quick, sharp slap.
"I'm not done," Elvira declared when Tracy snatched her hand back and held it with her other one, staring at Elvira in shock. "It's about presentation. Don't mess with my presentation."
...
"Hurry, Elvira, if you don't, I'm breaking out the cookie dough," I told her.
"Cookie dough is for heartbreak and sister trouble, why would you break out the cookie dough?" Tracy asked.
"Cookie dough has many functions. It isn't just for heartbreak and sister trouble. It's also for when you're freaking out about your love life," I replied.
"I'll tell you this," Elvira announced, fanning out little slices of French baton on the plate next to fanned-out little slices of apple all surrounding a gleaming, clean bunch of succulent grapes in the middle, "Hawk put me on radar, watched my every move for a year and a half and activated the troops when I caught trouble, there'd be no cookie dough in sight. I'd be on my knees next to the bed prayin' to the good Lord, thankin' him 'cause he heard my words. Then I'd put on my little teddy, the purple one, looks good against my skin, and I'd get in bed and count down the minutes until he got home."
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